The Gentle Battle: How I Learned to Win Through Love

I wake up just before sunrise.

There's that familiar tightness in my stomach — fear of the day, the tasks, the responsibility.

I open my eyes and say:

“I’m here. Show me how to act with love today.”

When I stand in front of the mirror:

“Good morning, my love.”

Then I pour a glass of water:

“May all beings be happy.”

Shadow Integration by Beata Korozo

That’s my daily ritual.

A moment to remind myself:

There’s a battle to fight. For my life, my mission, my soul.

But it’s not a war against an outside enemy. It’s a gentle battle — one I don’t win with force, but with love.

Starting in the Red

An unexpected tax debt. Another debt inherited from my father, which I found out about after accepting the estate.

Over a decade in court. Thousands spent on lawyers — and I still ended up deeper in the red.

A foreign country I chose to move to. A personal brand no one’s heard of.

After years of good income?

Yes. Because making and losing money has always been part of my story.

I avoided the truth — because truth meant boundaries. And boundaries meant conflict. And conflict meant risking being disliked.

I wasn’t controlling reality – just my awareness of it.

I didn’t ask questions. I didn’t want to know what would happen if I…

Because if I knew, I’d have to act. And acting meant drawing a line. And conflict? That was my biggest fear.

So I waited. Always a little too long. And then everything got messy.

Waiting for a “justified reason” to set a boundary always costs too much.

Fiverr taught me

Fiverr is not kind to freelancers. It’s a toxic place to be honest. But it taught me lessons I might not have learned anywhere else.

I learned how to:

• Recognize client manipulation — and not fall for it

• Say clearly: “I don’t work with that budget or on that type of project”

• Set boundaries before things get messy

• Stop “apologizing” for my rates

• Filter real clients from digital noise

I started setting boundaries early. And what happened?

I wasn’t disliked. On the contrary — I began attracting the right people.

People who respect my time, my boundaries, my expertise.

I discovered a paradox:

Avoiding being disliked is the quickest way to become disliked — just later, and worse.

The question that changed everything

I saw an invitation to a free crypto workshop. I ignored it — because it scared me.

But then I asked myself:

“Why am I turning down an opportunity just because I’m afraid?”

That was a different kind of question. Not: “How do I get out of debt?”

But: “Why am I refusing to use what’s already available?”

Fear was holding me back — not lack of chances.

So I took the training. I bought the mentoring — even though I was in debt.

I was terrified. But I knew:

I need to stop being afraid of loss.

And suddenly, I started to see things differently.

Debt as potential

I once heard someone say:

Debt is hidden earning potential.

It hit me.

Because if I’m carrying this much debt, maybe I also carry the potential to pay it off — and much more.

Debt isn’t the ceiling.

It’s the floor. The point I get to bounce from.

This used to be the kind of situation that would break me. Now?

I’m grateful I get to fix it.

I like order. And this is a kind of deep cleaning — just on the inside.

Paying old debts with a new self

I’ve submitted all my overdue tax declarations.

I’ve paid off part of what I owe — the rest, I’m working on honestly.

I have savings.

I don’t hide anymore.

I talk with my husband — we don’t argue.

It doesn’t sound like someone on the edge.

It sounds like someone facing the truth and choosing to act.

But yes — I’m paying the bills left behind by a former version of me.

And you know what?

The worse it looks on paper, the stronger I feel inside.

The Gentle Battle (continued)

Fear didn’t disappear. I still wake up with it every day.

But I no longer wait for it to vanish before I act.

I don’t fight fear.

I get up with it — and choose love anyway.

I don’t fight debt.

I’m grateful I get to repay it.

That’s the gentle battle.

Not the kind you win by destroying the enemy —but by loving yourself in their presence.

The pursuit of freedom

I used to define myself by lack:

• Not worthy

• Not enough

• Not capable
  

Now?

I don’t define myself by what’s missing — but by where I’m going.

I’m someone who walks toward freedom.

And I’m creating content for people like me.

People who feel fear and chaos — and move forward anyway.

Not for those stuck in the belief that life just happens to them.

Because the truth is:

We are the ones who happen to life.

Three years from now

Three years from today, I want to sit with coffee at sunrise — like this one —and smile at the memory of this moment.

It's the quiet smile of someone who has walked a long road.

But here’s the truth:

I’ve already come a long way.

From a woman who avoided the truth

→ to one who sees it and takes action.

From someone who waited too long to draw boundaries

→ to someone who draws them early — and gently.

From someone who would’ve been crushed by this situation

→ to someone who’s glad she gets to fix it.

The gentle battle continues.

And I’m taking it — every single morning.

Good morning, my love.

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If you’re also walking toward freedom —If you wake up with fear and get up anyway —

reach out.

This isn’t a journey we walk alone.